Unfortunately, a few years later, my past started showing up in my actions.

Mary: After I first became a Christian, I read those verses about a new life. Did you experience this “hiding?” How did that show up for you? What happened to help you stop hiding? I believe that many Christians hide from their pain, trauma and grief under the guide of showing faith, when in fact God wants us to face these things so we can grow. Marc: On my blog I write about an intentional spiritual journey where we move from just belief, to a life that is organized around growing spiritually. Not to be salacious, but for the sake of letting others know they’re not alone. Thanks for sharing it.” As healed believers, it’s our impetus to be the first to share. And, yes, afterward, I heard many students and faculty say, “That’s my story too. This past week I shared my story with nearly 2000 college students. But I can’t tell you how free other people become when you tell your story, raw and real. On the other hand, so many churches are freaked out about sexual abuse-it’s almost like they think that if they mention it, they validate it. I would not be writing this book had it not been the church standing in the gap and loving me through the heartache. Mary: I’m grateful that when I started to share my story, Christians stepped in big time and dared to pray me toward healing.

How did you find the church hindering or helping in your journey of healing? Seems like the church ought to be talking about this a whole lot more. It really makes me wonder at how the church is helping or hindering in the process of healing. It’s shocking how often I come across similar stories, as a pastor. With each post, I kept thinking, “Man, I want to share this stuff with these people.” I’m looking forward to having the book available to hand to people I care for. I’ve followed your other posts about your abuse experience, and just kept thinking of people I know–women and men–who have been so hurt in this way. I read that post on Deeper Story and was so moved by it. Marc: I’m so glad you’re taking that risk. So I’m doing it myself, with the help of others who believe in the message of the book. And yet I knew it was a message that needed to be out there. When I pitched it to publishers, they said no. It was called “The Sexy Wife I Can’t Be.” ( Read it here) Through the comments, I was OVERWHELMED at how many people shared a story of sexual abuse that still affected them today. I wrote a post on Deeper Story that went crazy. I’ve written 15 traditionally published books.

How did this book come about and why did you decide to write it? Marc: Mary, take a moment and introduce my audience to your book and your story. Mary is in the middle of an Indigogo crowd-sourcing funding campaign to raise the funds necessary to make this book a reality, and she was willing to share a brief interview with me. Click through to see Mary’s campaign for this book.

Not Marked by Mary E. DeMuth